Last week I had an interesting conversation with a cashier that made me evaluate some things in my life. As this young man was processing my returns and purchases, I couldn't help but notice his accent. He had a sharp Southern twang in his voice that was familiar. He was very forthcoming and told me he's from North Carolina. I immediately told him he's a long way from home. I sensed the pain in his voice when he insisted, "No, Ma'am this is home. My mama died six years ago and her death estranged me from my daddy. This is home now." He's a sweet young man that I chose to ignore him calling me "Ma'am."
Smile.
As I walked away to my car, I found myself uttering the word "estranged" because it was a foreign word to me and I have never used it to describe any relationships I've had in my life. Admittedly, I had to look up the meaning of it. Surely at forty-two years old, I have met many people and developed relationships that are no longer valid. The truth is, over the years I have only kept-in-touch with a few friends and even those my efforts have been mediocre. This made me sad. My very few "alleged" friends now are tied to my employment. Whether I accept it or not, these "so-called" friendships are tainted with some sort of distrust. It's difficult to cultivate loyalty with people when you're always afraid they might or might not sell you out when challenged. I've experienced this, often once the job ends, so does the friendship. Perhaps it should be called
workship. It makes me wonder had it been for my job, would I even make an effort? Would they? This worried me a little. What will happen a couple of decades from now when I am no longer working? Will my passion for stamps, papers and ink be enough to replace the camaraderie I will lose upon retirement? Oh well, chances are I will meet new people then who will also be old like me. I don't know what makes me more sad, losing friends or becoming old.
Smile.
What really made me examine is my relationship with my father. Am I estranged from him? I do send him my handmade cards on special occasions and we exchange short and awkward phone calls a few times a year. But for the most part, we have not seen each other in years. So, I concluded that we are simply not close, but we are in-touch. Although, I often wish we could be more, I am content knowing that he is in my life no matter how faint. Right now just knowing he is out there and that if and when I choose to, I can hear his voice with a phone call or I can see him within hours... that is enough for me, for now. Because I know that there will come a time when this will no longer be possible and I have learned that regret is more painful than grief.
Oh well, for the past couple of weeks I have been working on swaps for the
upcoming Stampin' Up! Convention. With less than four days away, the
pressure is definitely on! I consider myself a pretty organized gal,
however, there is still nothing like the eleventh hour to motivate me to
get busy. I want to share one of the cards I made for swap. I made 45 of these. After the first ten I was kicking myself for not designing a simpler card. I was happy with the results, so no complaints here.
Card Recipe
Stamp Set: Wetlands (W 126695 C 126697)
Paper: Card stocks in Crushed Curry, Basic Black and Whisper White
Ink: Classic Stampin' pads in Basic Black, Pear Pizzazz, Pool Party, Crushed Curry, Night of Navy and Cajun Craze
Tools & Accessories: Big Shot Die Cutting Machine (113439), Honeycomb Embosing Folder (129378), Large Oval (119855) and Scallop Oval (119856) punches, Stampin' Dimensionals (104430), 3/4" Chevron Ribbon in Crushed Curry (130019), Aqua Painters (103954) and Sponge Daubers (102892)
That's all for now. Have a great week, everyone!
