Sunday, March 18, 2012

Love Life ...

I often find it difficult to measure how much I am willing to share right here in my Blog. There are so many things I want to write, but I hold back because I feel it's just too open and I fear exposing myself too much will damage me deeply in the end. Although, I must acknowledge that I find sharing a little bit of my uneventful life sort of therapeutic, even healing at times. I do realize though that I have to be careful about sharing too much too often as it might make me appear whiny and pathetic. Smile.

It has been a rainy week and call me odd, but I do LOVE the rain. I always have. I find it purifying and refreshing. Each and every time, the rain brings me childhood memories of when I used to listen to the pitter-patter of the rain fall on our tin roof. To this day, I find tranquility in the sprinkling and the gloominess of it all. The sound of the rain sloshing down calms my nerves and relaxes my soul. There were times especially during typhoon seasons when it almost felt like the rain drops were falling right through my grandparents' tin roof and onto my face. Perhaps I was not imagining that because I clearly remember we had plenty of buckets all over the floor to catch the roof leaks. Now that I am an adult, a mild roof leak concerns me that it would lead to dry rot and mold. Back then, I thought it was fascinating, even fun. How I remember just sitting there with a book or how I busied myself looking out the window watching the water fall from the sky to cleanse the earth. We also often ran in the narrow flooded streets playing in the rain. No one cared about diseases or dirty water from the clogged-up sewer lines. We just played in the rain and stayed out until our lips turned purple and our skin wrinkly. Typhoons back home meant black-outs, often for days. We had to find ways to entertain ourselves, be it making paper boats, playing in the puddle, telling scary stories or listening to soap operas via the battery operated transistor radio. There were no ipods, cell phones, video games and obviously, no internet. But we loved life just the same...and looking back now - life loved us back. Lately, I find myself feeling homesick. Not exactly homesick for the Philippines, more so homesick and longing for my youth. I remember being a kid and feeling very impatient about not growing-up fast enough. Now I feel like I got old-er much too soon. I feel as if life just happened to me instead of the other way around. I know I find comfort in saying I have no regrets, however, recently I catch myself playing the futile "what if" game. I hope there are other forty-something people out there who also feel this way. Oh well, c'est la vie!

Materials: Kindness Matters and Cottage Garden Stamp Sets, Big Shot Die-Cutting Machine (113439), Bigz XL Die Designer Rosette (125594), Bigz L Die Fun Flowers (121812), Large Sizzlits Die Paper Doily (125592), Large Pearl Basic Jewels (125577), Stampin' Dimensionals (104430), Sticky Sheets (114300), Multipurpose Liquid Glue (110755).

One of the reasons why I love the rain is that I have an excuse not to leave the house. I spent the weekend playing with my Big Shot. I have been wanting to try this since I saw Kay Kalthoff's video on SCS. It took me a few tries with the Sizzlits Die Large Paper Doily (125592). I am still getting the hang of it. I am glad I opted to use retired paper to experiment with, since I did waste a few sheets. It was sort of tedious, but I really like the finished products. I think I might even do a Big Shot class featuring this project. It will be pretty on my desk at work - it will never wilt. If I only had a sentiment that says, "Love your job and it will love you back". Ha! Oh, how I wish.

That's it for today. The forecast this coming week is more rain. I guess I should be careful what I wish for. Smile.

PS: I phoned my father yesterday and it felt good because he sounded really happy to hear my voice. I should do that more often and stop coming up with excuses not to. It doesn't matter who calls first or who called last - no one is keeping score. One of the many things I am thankful for about getting older is that, I have learned to be more forgiving. I've realized how unpredictable life truly is and that every little bit of kindness do matter - and right now, I'd much rather give it than wait for it to come my way.


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