Friday, December 16, 2011

Forty Something

I am writing a special post today in honor of my birthday. I am 40 plus 1 today, how cool is that? I still remember being a teenager thinking that 30 was ancient. Here I am in my forties. I never realized the truth in the saying, "Age is only a number" until last year when I turned 40. Geez, forty is a lot of candles! However, when I look at myself in the mirror I see this older version of me, but deep down I feel that I have not aged at all. I still laugh the same, I talk the same, I cry at the same things and when people let me down...the pain is still the same. I only wish whoever keeps sending me the fines lines and wrinkles every year to stop. Hahaha.

One thing I really noticed is that losing a loved one when you're older hurts so much more than when you're a child. I lost loved ones from great grandparents, grandparents to uncles when I was younger and I will always miss them. But losing my dear grandmother recently really threw me off balance. Perhaps it was because she was the one who loved me the most and losing her feels like that's a whole lot of love lost. It is in my list of regret of a lifetime that I didn't go back home to see her when she was still alive and lucid. I kept putting it off hoping she'd wait for me when I'm ready. If there's one thing I learned in all my 41 years, it's that life doesn't wait for anyone. Life moves on no matter how much we grieve or ache. Life moves on whether we are prepared for it or not. Life moves on whether we love or hate. Life just goes and it will keep going even after I am gone. I used to phone my grandma on my birthday so she could greet me. The past couple of years when she no longer knew who I was, it brought me so much pain to call so I didn't phone as often. But there were plenty of times when I'd feel sad or stressed that just hearing her voice made me feel better. She would talk about her plants, what she ate for lunch or who came to visit her and I just sat there listening to the sweetness of her voice. I'd imagine her hand clutching mine as we briskly walked around the market. She loved me the most and I know that I will always miss her in my life. But life moves on no matter how much my heart is breaking or how much I'm missing her. Grandma, I will always carry you in my heart.

So, for this birthday I want to remember and honor those who are no longer with me and cherish those who are. I am truly grateful for my family. I am grateful for my job that allows me to have this amazing hobby of creating beautiful cards.

I love this set and still sad that it has been retired by Stampin' Up! I wish they had more Asian themed stamp sets. It's hard to see from the picture, but I heat embossed it with black craft ink and iridescent ice. It really turned out beautiful.

Card Recipe

Stamp Set: Dream Garden
Paper: Crushed Curry and Real Red, DSP
Ink: Black craft ink
Accessories: Big Shot Embossing folder in Lattice, Iridescent Ice embossing powder, heat tool, Very Vanilla Satin ribbon.

Happy birthday to me!


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